3/20/2010

A Heming and Hawing Husband

Question:
I am a stay at home mom with one child and one on the way. Although we are still young, up to this point my husband has been very wishy washy while choosing a career. Currently he is in the military with 6 months left on his contract before he can take advantage of the G.I. Bill and go to college. He is kinda an adrenline junky, so after his contract is up, he wants to go to school and then do something like join the FBI or the DEA. I want him to do something that isn't as dangerous and will allow us to live close to our families. I have served my time as a single parent while he's lively dangerously everyday and I love living close by my family. How can I help my husband pick a career that will keep him safe and close by our family?


Answer:
I do agree that your husband needs to make up his mind and choose a career. He's fathered two children and has a responsibility to provide for his family. And no career is going to be fun and games all the time. Yours isn't- I'm sure if given the choice you would choose to not deal with stomach viruses and potty training. He needs to find a career that he will enjoy most of the time. Having said that, he does have a little more time to waffle around. He still has time left on his contract and then there will be quite a few general courses he can take before he has to decide on a career.
Most importantly, don't forget in this career pursuit that he has graciously allowed you to make your own career choice. You chose to be a stay at home mom, which is a noble career choice and kudos to you. You need to allow your husband to do the same, even if he chooses something you would not have chosen for him. You get veto rights (ie- you can not be an undercover cop, we will not move our family to Brazil or NYC) but ultimately you need to allow your husband to choose a career that he will be happy at everyday (or atleast most days). It is very difficult living with a husband who hates his job (and its miserable for him as well), and that will trickle down and affect the family as a whole. You can absolutely brainstorm and come up with lists of ideas. But, it is HIS choice and you need to respect that, just as he honored and respected your choice.

Whaddya think?

No comments:

Post a Comment