I May Not Be Their Friend, But I'll Always Be Their Mom

There is an epidemic today of parents who have forgotten that being their child’s friend is not their primary goal. Of course I want my children to like me. Nothing stings worst than hearing “I hate you” from the life you helped create. However, my goal is not to be their friend when they are teenagers, but to be their friend when they are adults.

I just read an article interviewing Billy Ray Cyrus. My heart ached for him as he blamed the Disney Channel’s show “Hannah Montana” for ruining his life. (Click on the link to read the article). He says the “show destroyed my family. I'd take it back in a second. For my family to be here and just everybody be okay, safe and sound and happy and normal would have been fantastic. Heck, yeah. I'd erase it all in a second if I could." He claims that “Hannah Montana” (a wholesome family show about a normal teenager by day who is a singing star by night), in which he costars with his daughter, launched his daughter as a teen idol and sent her spiraling out of control. He admits that he wished he’d disciplined more and worried less about being her friend.

My job as a parent is not to be the coolest parent. It’s not to be the hippest mom. My job is to build a life where my children feel safe and secure. My job is to teach them the skills they need to succeed. Kindness. Honesty. Integrity. Hard Work. Self Worth. My job is to teach them how to live a happy life without me. And sometimes, that means I may not be their friend. But, that’s ok, because I am their mother.

Someone told me recently that the most influential time for children is between the ages of 8 and 12 years old. These are the years where they comprehend the most before the worldly ways creep in and try to corrupt them. It is our best chance at building a solid, firm foundation under our children before they are tested with the trials of life. Once they turn 12, they are well on their way to be a teenager, when they believe that life is eternal and bad stuff always happens to the other guy; the way to have fun is live in today. So, I look for every opportunity I can to teach them, mold them, guide them and let them make decisions now and sometimes even suffer the consequences of their choices. They need to know that life has consequences; good ones and bad ones. My kids are still little, so I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I try hard to look at those around me. I pay attention to what works and what hasn’t worked. I listen to what they say, whether I agree or not and then I put my main focus on my family. I want to take advantage of every opportunity I have today to prepare them for tomorrow. I live life with my eyes WIDE open because I don’t want to look back one day and realize I’d lost control way back there and there’s nothing I can do about it now. I know that much of it is completely out of my control, so today I will give it my all.

Whaddya think?


  1. My kids have told me several times that "you're not my friend!" I simply tell them, that's ok, that's not my job. My job is to be your mom. :)

  2. I agree completely. Today I learned in a very embarassing mannor that I am not my chilrens friend either... but someone who loves them more then a friend ever could.